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Greetings From the Couch

Hi everyone, it's been a while since I've posted; been happily busy with clients. However, my recent experience as a rookie player of fantasy football has inspired me to write a quick note.

For readers who are not interested in football: please read on, as I only use it here as a metaphor for something more universally relatable.

Overall, I have to say I'm enjoying it and having early success (I'm told everyone wins the first time they play). It has been a way for me to focus my attention on specific players across many games, not just on one team.

The aspects I'm noticing that may be of interest to others, are: 1) I am now totally focused on individual performance vs. the wonder of team play, and 2) I am now totally focused on outcomes, and monitoring them on my devices as the weeks go on. As a result, I'm not the person I was before fantasy football. I used to love seeing a good play, regardless of who made it (much to the consternation of my husband, who wished I'd pick a side and stay with it). I used to be free of conflicts of interest and obsessions with scores. I used to enjoy watching football, not caring about outcomes. I used to not yell at the TV.

My husband (and ff coach) nods knowingly as I voice my frustration during games, and assures me that this is the pain of fantasy football. I am having fun but am I having more fun than before?

I read in the news last week that some places around the country are shutting down Pop Warner football for kids, because the parents in the stands are out of control fighting, etc. Dag. Seems pretty lame to me...and yet I kind of understand it now in a way I wouldn't have before. When my husband and I were newly married, I established house rules for viewing football: No crying, no throwing, no CPR, no emergency response vehicles. I was kidding at the time.

My question as a Master Certified Coach is: how does having skin in a game (any game) change our experience of the game? As an organization development practitioner, I have been well trained on the tenet that, "One cannot intervene on a system one is part of." Why is this so? Because we can't be objective and separate ourselves from the dynamics, no matter how smart or skilled we are. This is the metaphor of fantasy football.

The real question to consider is: do we gain more from feeling part-of, or more from feeling detached-from? In general, I tend to opt for feeling part-of but, in the case of fantasy football, it may be a net loss...I just might go back to observing from the stands next season, and just enjoy the game and the awesome athleticism and amazing plays. TBD.

Where in your life are you part-of, and where are you detached-from? Does the balance work for you? Where is there space to choose something different for yourself?

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